Hot mess

This dude lives in my building, met me once, and emailed me on eFallacy. I've lost the first three emails (eFallacy deletes them when they get to a certain -erm- ripeness)... But essentially his email was "You're hot and neato, let's get to know each other." My response was "We've met, fool.". His response: "You sure?"

The rest is a self-explanatory train wreck of what I'm guessing is intermittent drunk emails.

Me, 12/10: I'm sure. I live at the (apt complex). We were introduced through Andrew (no, I didn't date or sleep with him HA) and we hung out by the pool one night really late.

Amnesia dude, 12/11: Ok you win! i to live here at the (apt complex) but dont remember that night...i wish i did rememeber you lol! Ok so do you still live here? if you do well i need to meet up with you tomorrow night ok...drinks are on me, i promise i'm not trying to date you just want to say hello thats all. Would that be ok? your so out of my league anyways!

Amnesia dude, same day: Morning, how are you? are you on facebook? just thought you might fancy a chat?

Amnesia dude, 12/12: Hi look i'm really sorry if i came across the wrong way, i really do apologise, can we start again? I'm scottish i always screw things up the first time!

Amnesia dude, same day: Just wanted to apologise for being too forward. Not normally like that, I think work has me stressed out!

Amnesia dude, 12/13: Hey do you drive a white mini? just wondered... i thought i saw you the other day

Me, 12/14: Nope! Not me. Do you know Andrew #2? He's a friend of mine. I drive the (my car, in detail).

Amnesia dude, same day: Ah i have seen that in the car park, i have a (car) with the (omitted) plate lol!! its a scottish thing lol! I have seen Andrew #2 but don't really know him. I have an audi R8 back in scotland, thats my pride possesion!! Whats your plans for xmas holidays? i don't even know your name, my bad

Me, same day: I'm going to my parents' place for the holidays. They live in (state). My name is (wouldn't you like to know). Seriously I can't believe you don't remember talking to me dude. 

Amnesia dude: I know!! my memory is terrible maybe if i saw you in person i would be like...shit yes i know you!! so sorry, typical guy in one ear out the other.
I do feel bad for not remembering you well if you fancy a drink or coffee sometime this week let me know, not back to work until january i think, i owe you that much or maybe i can wash your car or something lol!! just kidding.

Amnesia dude, 12/23: Hi how are you? i just got back from offshore, are you still going away for xmas or? I saw Daisy today and she was saying a few people are going out for xmas lunch somewhere. I was going to go home but the its totally snowed out there! If you don't have plans tonight come out for a drink if you like?

Amnesia dude, 12/27: Hey what you upto today?

Me, same day: Yo Watching the snow fall in (city). So pretty
Amnesia dude, next day: Thats cool, when you back in town? No snow here!
Amnesia dude, 1/06: Hi so how was new year? Have fun?? I ended up in Vegas, had a blast.
Amnesia dude, same day, much later: i dare you to call me right now?? lets go for a drink right now...just for one so you can tell how i dont remember you... (phone number) you sure i was talking to you way back then?
This was a weeknight at like 11:45. Not going out then. I've completely stopped responding. I don't see the guy in my building, ever, so I'm sure I'm relatively safe from an awkward run-in. Oh eFallacy, you're failing me. When's the subscription end, again?

1 comment:

  1. Haha. This is worse than my first online date! We were actually in the same club in college and had actually met on several occasions and he had NO clue who I was.