God Guy

This entry covers a full-on saga. EFallacy has an instant message feature that caused me many issues during my first two days of use. I quickly learned how to turn it off, but before that, I was bombarded with a bunch of people who had direct access to me without any filter.

On the first day of my IM experience, I got a message from GodGuy. GodGuy had a profile that loudly touted his love for Jesus and a Christian lifestyle. Although I would say I am open to meeting men of all backgrounds, I find that those who are adamantly linked to their religions generally do not end up actually being as accepting as they first appear. Especially when I tell them it's my intention to expose my children to many religions.

Anyway, GodGuy was completely nice during our IM chat. Not overly flirtatious, but interesting. I gave him my personal IM screenname and spent the next few days talking to him. That's when the fun* began. Warning: this is epically long.

*not fun at all.

The next several IM conversations became increasingly more preachy. At the same time, the vast majority of our talks had been friendly, and I had agreed to go out with GodGuy in the following week.

I was getting ready to go out one night when GodGuy sent me an IM. After a brief chat, he started in on the religious talk, telling me (in essence) that I was nice, and I still had time to change my mind before an eternity in Hell. Charming. He snaps out of it to ask me what I'm doing that night. I answer, and ask him about his plans for the following week.

"I've got a date on Saturday with this crazy girl!!11!11!1!!!!" he says, referring to me in a way that is neither cute, nor endearing.

"I bet that girl you're going on a date with is hoping you don't talk about God a whole bunch"... Okay, granted, this is maybe a little harsh, but I'm looking to meet people, not get converted.

"I bet she hopes I smack her in the ass while we're on our date"




"You know, if you did that, you'd end up in the hospital wondering what happened to you, and we don't want that"... I say, trying to make a joke but also let the dude know it's unacceptable.

He ends the conversation, shortly thereafter, saying "Later, Babe"

I send him a text message thereafter, asking him to please not call me babe. His response was that "Maybe we shouldn't go out after all," to which I heartily agreed. He then sent me a message saying, "I knew I was right. I'm always right..." I don't know what that meant, but I responded telling him that I didn't even know him, hadn't met him in person, and wouldn't accept that kind of talk from anyone I just met.

A week later, I got this gem:
I was thinking we should go grab a cup of coffeee. What do you think?

My reply:



You'd think that would be a fairly clear message, but no. I get this.

I do not think I could have gotten past your religious point of view. However; I do see the value in having you as a friend. I think you’re smart, good looking, funny, and a hard worker. I'm sorry for calling u babe and I should have apologized sooner. Also, I became a little frustrated, because I hate to write and it was difficult for me to explain my point of view. I think we would have fun and probably be trouble together. So, I would love to hangout as friends if you’re interested. Let me know what you think... Oh Happy New Year!

Dear GodGuy,




  1. So - he presumes to have already jumped from screen names to pet names after a few conversations. Did you even tell him your real name?

    Also - substituting "u" for "you" is an instant disqualifier.

  2. Yeah, he knew my real name... And I agree on the U vs You thing... Once you hit college, you're educated enough to type the entire word.