Singlehandedly the most amazing email ever.

This fabulous example of moronitude comes via a guest blogger... I can't do this justice. You just HAVE to read on.

Confidence is sexy....

...But this dude is not.

Thanks for the recap

In which our hero is regaled with tales that no one really cares about....

Booty Call

Does this actually work?

Oh, oh it's magic

Yeah, wow:

I wish I were making this up.

I truly, sincerely wish I had made this up. Unfortunately, I did not.

Plus-sign-nose-smiley-face is back

This time, minus Google translate.

Moving at the speed of WHAT?!

I'm all for commitment, but remember: when you don't know someone, being "cutesy" is just creepy...

Tell it to my exes

Flattery will get you... well... I just thought this was odd.

Pardon?

I have no idea what this dude is saying... After the jump.